It's difficult as society has been telling me for years to avoid relationships with girls like this. If woman has had >20 partners, odds of remaining in marriage for 5+ years are measly 20%. woman who values herself. Sorry, bro. This doesnt make them bad people, but it does make them completely unsuitable as life mates. Yes, her past is hurtful and hard for us both. My opinion on how many people is too many: Since people Drop them. That is all we need to continue our happy lives. Now although this may not be the route you chose when it comes to sexuality it doesnt make you better than or more wise than the girl or guy who chose to have 100 + partners. Men have to go out to 10 women and hope 1 of them chooses him. Get urself checked and keep ur pants on before u question her!!! However, there can be consequences I feel hurt by the fact that she was promiscuous and so casual. Most of it was a hard learning lesson for me. There is no double standard. Thats gross!!! no. Is this a JOKE? Pregnancy. These views are unrealistiic. Everything you could ask for and more. I know it would be for me. I sure don't. Does my ex-gf and her bf want a thruple with me? Isnt it women who tell men & society: You cant tell me what to do w/ my body?Especially when it comes to pregnancy & abortion?Therefore women are admitting that having a womb comes w/ having more responsibility. The girl you date is not concerned about cooking for you. Everyone has a right to their opinion and position. (Lets assume TONS is much larger than LOTS). That is just my opinion but we are all entitled to go about life however we please. Because my man gets insecure and wants to leave Well Im sorry to tell you that no man wants damaged goods. Of course, that was music to my earsbut, I am very realistic and pragmatic. If we had a daughter and son, our daughter would do those things as well because her mommy did those things so it must be ok for her to do it too. I dont know if i should open up anymore or not. Is a depressed life worth living. The Era of female double standards is drawing to a close. So the only difference between there relationship now, and there relationship if the truth came out, will be how he decides to let a number affect the way he moves forward with her. Hi Stephan, I dont see where you think I was insulting others. Not much wife material out there. Not to sound like a cocky piece of shit or anything but I have a lot of positives about me and a lot going for me, a girl would be lucky to have me. She eventually cheated and we broke up. The choices you make in life matter and have consequences. Hoe Stroll is defined as a period of time where a woman is much more promiscuous than she has ever been or will be again. Women have the choice to say, yup im gonna let this guy inside me. Life is all about letting go. Not too many women want a man that other women dont want. And holding those beliefs can create a bad environment for a relationship, which wouldnt be good for you OR her. Nice try though. Then she knocked on a door and a guy in his underwear opened it, and she walked in and closed the door. Men and women are different. Now i am hurt. Our wisdom is a form a judgement. I do not think it is worth walking away from a woman you genuinely connect with, but again that is my opinion. So a man can use that as a measuring stick all he wants, but the reality is he may forever be getting false data. I dont think society realizes how many women (and men) have been sexually abused. If your just hitting it no big deal. All the sudden, I stopped wanting to sleep around and it was no longer enjoyable. Make Him Worship the Ground You Walk On! Though I do try to be aware of my market I promise this article is my honest genuine opinion lol. the point is about understanding that who someone once was isnt always who they are now. The fact remains, the more partners a woman has had, the less likely her marriage(s) are to last. Take care. Back in the day (I mean waaayyyy back lol) it was all about having a virgin. So it is hilarious when it is a bad thing to judge someone for something thought to be bad but dont make such a big fuss about it when someone is being JUDGED for doing something good. Just judging by how erratic, panicky and rather desperate you have written your message above. I reinforced that sex was a major responsibility, must be done with responsibility, and that I definitely preferred that she would wait until she was marriedbut that if something changedprotection was a must! its not my pussy they love right my personality and attitude. Using the number of sexual partners as one proxy for how someone views sexuality, intimacy, and as insight into part of their value-system iscompletelyrational and reasonable. Its not the most important factor. Women are yet to be seen as equals. Live up those spring break days if you must, but You can love sex without being a slut. The majority of women are not sluts, as witnessed by the median number of partners for the American woman, and it is not hard to find one. Do you think that I can take her seriously? You can say no, no, no as much as you like and deny up and down till youre blue, but that still doesnt get the idea about a woman, out of a mans mind. Like I said before, we can just agree to disagree on this one. If someone says he has slept with 100 women, who is sleeping around more, the Men or the Women? Ive been in two serious relationships. It is the fact that you will hold this over someones head forever that I feel could use some rethinking. I have a BUNCH to say, but first lets address the wear and tear issue, it obviously has some relevance physically, but I would say it is mostly mentally destructive. A lot of things have been in practice since the beginning of time, that does not mean it is the best or most effective approach. Next!! He is the King of kings and Lord of lords. Actions and deeds speak more loudly than words. Blanksie if you take the time to read the article and many other articles I have written you will notice that I always mention that I think it is best for women to wait. Who she once was is not always who she is now. I do feel that there are always exceptions the rule and we should seek further understanding if willing. I love the fact the despite only being with one man, you are still able to take the position of not using someones past against them. Humans have emotions. You already know what the homies are saying. the best ones are extremely intelligent and driven. People are simply not willing to marry unless the person they are marrying is compatible. Now I agree that the issues are deeper than sex but I feel even in an egalitarian society we will still see an issue arise. Consider your 20s your best years is VERY subjective. life. Much like you are forcing the woman in your life to do, would you rather start out a relationship based on a lie?. That is my opinion, and I guess we can agree to disagree on this one. (multiple boards, articles studies etc) evince its importance. It is simply to say let us not be so quick to judge those whose past may involve a high number of sexual partners. Thank you, Lord, for what you have done that we couldnt do for ourselves. It matter amd why I dont see my damn comment I posted on here about thisarticle? Anyway, enough of that. When it happens be okay and know we are allowed our voews on whom we want to settle with In fact, I see more women who regret marrying young than I see women regret marrying in their 30s. It's always great to reflect on this stuff. I have observed and had manydiscussions withmy female friends, colleagues, andwomen ive dated, as well as read the facebook & twitter posts of women I am less familiarwith but know thata few of my friends are VERYfamiliarity with. ! No, it was because you can just tell a person who has had a lot of sexual partners. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I am confident that you two will overcome this and have a much better relationship now that counseling is in the picture. Independent. They're your property. I think most people say they dont judge but subconsciously do it by playing into these stereotypes or generalizations. To say she is damaged goods is a misnomer because you assume that her worth is completely controlled by her sexuality and how she uses it. ok I understand where you are coming from especially with having to constantly worry about bumping into her sex partners. Individuals must and should always attend to their home garden and not others. Your honor, Ive been arrested for those rapes which occurred 4 years ago. When the male wants a woman with good morals and respects her body. Somebody who DIDNT want that, ever. someone, you want to not only know about who they are, but who they the women do to. So there is a responsibility on both ends. Some of the points you made in your last response was where I was trying to go, but duty called and I had to cut my post short. I often think about the young ladies who were sexually abused in the youth, or who were taught sex is the only way to love or keep someone. Maybe instead of looking up information about "dating a slut," look up information like "like a girl but she has slept with many other guys." The one that will massage your feet at the end of the day AND bake you fresh croissant! relationships because they are so used to casual sex that theyve Sex is something that should be valued. So, somebody who has raped a person years agoshouldnt have that counted againstthem because that isnt who they really are now? My wife has been much more sexually active than I have. I disagree with you. I hit the cutoff line at 5 MAX. At the end of the day none of those could capture her heart as you have. Like the article states you dont know why she chose to sleep with an individual or several. Like legitimately, tell me why it matters. Im logical, confident, and independent. We cannot allow people to think "I can do whatever I want because people can't judge me anyway" because that promotes this view of doing and thinking wild things simply because you can get away with it. HAVING A LOT OF SEXUAL PARTNER IS JUST NOT RIGHT .. Men throwing themselves at women is acceptable in society. Be open, talk about your wants, your needs, your boundaries. YOU WOULD OWN THAT SHIT. Or would you rather have a car thats bee driven by a lot of different people. What would Jesus do? I completely agree with you that a woman's sexual health (i.e. Im LOVING this.past partners MOST DEFINATELY have nothing to do with the present. Women lie about their past(and men know it) and Men in turn lie about love and marriage . I am referencing a paper directly concerned with the subject, Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among Women., If perhaps you had read my posts below from last year, where I referenced this study, you wouldnt have made the invalid assumption that I believe something is true because I say it is.. Alex, who exactly is the owner of this superior mind that you speak of? No, it should matter. But also it could be my way of redirecting these thoughts gently as you've put it. However, a girl can easily disqualify herself from consideration if her number reveals her to have lived life as a raging slut. Questions and Answers. If we save ourselves we have the same right to not be lied to and find someone we can be comfortable with. All is equal and fair. Thats such a cop-out. If the number really didnt matter, couples could ask about it and C) Two long-term sex partners, had sex a total of 100 times, and many were threesomes? That scares me more than anything else. Thing is, a mistake can cost you plenty in life jobs being one of them. We can talk for hours and hours about pretty much anything and not get bored of each other. Hes trying to get me to be faithful. I think it is a territorial issue that men have, so having to see other men that had your women bothers some. 21. If she is everything you would want a woman to be and currently shares your same values. You may not mind to share your life with someone who has share herself with everyone who show some interest but for me it is very a very important detail as it is part of the whole person you arechoosing since I have that capacity of choice I want to have a nice person as a whole including a matching in our values personally I am sure I would not go ahead with a woman with this kind ofbaggage. In the overwhelming majority of cases, a promiscuous sex life is indicative of other personality problems. She's not who she's going to be, young women can be very insecure. Its so they wont feel so bad about what they consider negatives about themselves or to justify them staying with someone who is totally wrong for them. FACEBOOK is a trademark of FaceBook INC. Stephan Speaks | All Rights Reserved 2020. A Woman or Man that sleeps with 100 people is emotionally DEAD! But it hurts me to know that the girl I care about so much is just a notch on so many bedposts. good to remind your lover that it was in the past and you cant change it. Yes there is a higher possibility of STDs but a woman could have only been with 2 men and be infected vs. the woman who had over 30 and is still disease free. Better yet, have u ever been judged or discriminated otherwise? early whether you are worth an investment (remember the biological urge choosing to be selective in whom they sleep with. Have been sexually abused life mates a guy in his underwear opened it, and she in. That isnt who they are so used to casual sex that theyve is... Understand where you think that I can take her seriously so, somebody who has raped a who... Is all we need to continue our happy lives and rather desperate you have to my earsbut, I confident! People Drop them they are now for us both is the fact that you will hold over. 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